[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai pizza cats Oooh yeah!♪
♪ Who do you call when you want Some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ A heck of a fighter Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis, A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down, down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur than any Turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
Stronger than dirt.
♪ Step on their tails♪
Get off of my tail!
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
Don't hurt me!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town!♪
♪ Three, two, one, Pizza Cats are on the run!♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain, Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crowes♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back, Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want the full effect go eat a pizza pie!♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Having spent the day shopping for a new dining set,
the Big Cheese now partakes of his favorite past time:
eating sushi while disguised as a traveling cosmetics
sales woman.
Let's see. My, my, my.
The nice thing about sushi is that I can eat all I want
and still keep my girlish figure.
I was just going to say that.
Say, would you like to take in a movie later?
No, thank you. Prepare an order to go for me, will you?
And don't forget the soy sauce.
What a glutton.
And he didn't even invite me to join him.
Just wait until he asks me to cook the turkey
next thanksgiving.
Hm? What are you yo-yos staring at?
Hm? Oh, no. My fly's open.
Let's keep it simple. Just give me two of everything,
and throw in an order of raw seaweed, will you?
[narrator] Having satisfied his elementary lusts,
the Big Cheese turned his thoughts to business.
By the way, Jerry, how is the construction
of the Samurai Stomper progressing?
Are we on schedule? I hope so.
Our latest robot weapon is almost complete.
I can't wait to use it.
Jerry, Little Tokyo is ours.
-Look out! -Oh!
Hey, what's going on?
[crying]
Why are we stopping?
Huh?
Father!
Father, Father!
What?
-Father? -Did he say father?
How can we go any farther
with you idiots standing in the way?
Let go you silly thing.
Don't you understand? This foolish creature thinks
I'm its father.
Father. Father.
Ooh.
Ow. Don't play in the traffic.
[giggling]
Believe me, I'm not this wretched child's father.
Could this be true?
The child seems so sure.
If it is, this could cause quite a scandal.
Extra! Extra! Big Cheese finds baby and becomes doting father!
Counsel sources reveal he's going to adopt more
children and open a daycare center. Extra!
Who cares, give me the sports section.
Hey, this story about Cheese is unbelievable.
Probably just put that in to boost the circulation.
Maybe, but if it's true, Big Cheese and his comrade
will be out of the bad guy business.
And Little Tokyo will be safe from evil.
Yeah, they'll be too busy changing diapers.
We won't have to fight them anymore.
We can get out of these ridiculous outfits.
What are we waiting for?
We'll have time.
I can go back to school and study nuclear reactors
like my Uncle Irving.
[both] We'll have time for girls.
We'll have wild parties every night.
You're dreaming if you think you're going to split
and leave us knee-deep in pizza and pasta.
Now get in that kitchen, and start cooking pronto.
All you can think of is girls.
What are Polly and I? Chopped liver?
[giggling]
[narrator] Meanwhile in the council chambers,
-Fred. -[giggling]
Fred.
That's his name, sweetie. Don't wear it out.
This baby you have adopted is a precocious little fella,
isn't he?
I haven't adopted him!
Yeah, yeah. He's my daddy.
No, Princess Vi.
Oh, pipe down, Seymour.
Well.
Now, what shall we name him?
Seymour Junior.
No, I won't have this jabbering creature named after me.
That's what you think.
Well, that's settled.
The child's name shall be Seymour Junior.
Now we should talk about this daycare center.
The emperor and I both think it's a spiffy idea.
Oh, where's the baby. Oh!
-[giggles] -Fred, Fred.
Cheese, you better learn how to control that child.
Oh!
Give me that baby back. You're scaring him.
Now, Seymour. Look at how well you're handling him.
You're changing his diaper, and he's not even squawking.
I think you should open up a diaper cleaning service
as well as a daycare center.
Huh? You're crazy.
You hear that? He called her crazy.
So what? She is crazy.
Your royal highness, we all wholly support your decision.
So would you like to make the declaration now?
Cheese, this child is officially yours. I declare it.
Also, I order you to open a daycare center
and diaper cleaning service at once.
What about my seat on the counsel?
Oh, you'll have to quite the counsel.
-Your highness! Oh, no. -Fred.
Daycare center, daycare center. Hey, I'm hungry.
Giddy up horsy, giddy up horsy. Run, run.
Listen, kid. Will you stop kicking? You're killing me.
Who would have thought there would be so many diapers
here in Little Tokyo.
My hands are getting chapped from doing laundry.
I can't stand this smell!
Dramatic, huh? Think I'll win an Oscar this year?
At least I have my secret laboratory, in which to take
solace from this miserable situation.
I hope our fearless leader can get this kid potty trained.
Well, Jerry, how's it going down here?
Go away, I'm folding.
The new robot. Jerry, is it done?
Are you kidding, Seymour?
We're three days behind schedule.
See? I've got half my ninja crow crew on laundry detail.
WE must turn this situation to our advantage.
Oh, I'm surrounded by inefficiency.
Here, take these plans and complete the robot immediately.
Can't we invest in one
of those industrial-sized washing machines?
-No. -How about hiring some
out-of-work sanitary engineers to handle the overload?
No. No outsiders.
They'll tell the Pizza Cats what we're up to.
Stop poking. Will you cut it out?
I was just trying to illustrate a point.
What point is that?
Who's going to finish the laundry?
Never mind the dirty laundry, Jerry.
I want that robot in working condition by tonight.
If it's not, you're going to be sorry.
[narrator] The Big Cheese was now stuck on baby business,
Speedy planned to take some quality time.
I think I'll pay a visit to Lucille.
Haven't gone to Las Vegas for a while.
We'll rent the honeymoon suite, we'll order the best champagne,
and caviar.
Speedy.
Oh, hi, Silvia. What can I do for you?
[cries]
Huh? Is something wrong, Silvia?
He's missing. My boy was kidnapped the other day.
Eek! Holy mackerel!
[narrator] Not wanting to starve the little fella,
despite his propensity for soiling diapers,
Cheese assigned Bad Bird the task of mixing
Seymour Junior's lunch. Unaware that the precocious
brat was about to make a startling discovery.
Maybe we can get the robot to finish the laundry.
[narrator] Yes! Big Cheese and Jerry Atric
have personally put the finishing touches
on the Samurai Stomper. No, it couldn't wash and iron
baby banting, but it could prove to be the most fearsome weapon
yet unleashed on Little Tokyo
if controlled by the wrong pair of hands.
Gosh, Silvia's baby's been kidnapped?
When did this happen, Speedy?
Yesterday, while they were shopping.
We went to the big sale and Bimbo's department store.
Hey, I read about that sale.
Men's underwear was marked down fifty percent.
I know. I bought you some. I hope you like stripes.
[rumbling]
What in the blazes is that?
[Lucille] It sure isn't the dinner bell.
[narrator] Lucille is right. It wasn't the dinner bell.
It was the Samurai Stomper, and he wasn't exactly
on an urban re-development project.
Daddy! Daddy would be proud of baby Seymour.
Proud, proud! I test out his new toy.
[giggles]
The kid stole it?
How could that brat have stolen the Samurai Stomper?
Beats me, Seymour. I sure didn't give him the keys.
Knots, knots, nuds, nit wad.
You were supposed to making his lunch
and keeping him out of trouble.
Don't look now, but I think
he's grown attached to the little monster.
I think you're right.
Just what are you two whispering about?
Uh, nothing.
Listen, get me my Samurai Stomper back
before the Pizza Cats find it.
Big Cheese has returned to the bad guy business, Pizza Cats.
But that doesn't scare us, does it?
[both] No!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need them just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time, Stay out of their way♪
Oh, I love those cats.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes who always Wear fur♪
[Francine] Hi, folks. We realize this big monster
has been stomping your condos to pixie dust,
and is generally reducing the property values
in Little Tokyo to what you buy a can of minestrone soup for.
But don't worry.
The Pizza Cats are on the case.
Hey, Mom. How come Daddy couldn't afford a condo?
Your father prefers to invest in pork bellies.
Pork bellies? How are you going to retire with a pork belly?
[screaming]
[giggling]
[Speedy] Hold it right there,
you overgrown sumo-wrestling simpleton!
[Guido] You hear my partner, you bulbous bulk,
obnoxious nuts of bolts!
You've carried this Godzilla bit a little too far.
Now, cut it out.
And if you don't cut it out,
you can kiss us all goodbye.
Then he'd better start kissing, Polly.
Lights, camera, and--
[all] action!
Why's he just standing there?
How come he's not attacking, Guido?
You got me, Speedy. Maybe his batteries are run down.
[narrator] While the Pizza Cats stood momentarily mystified,
the Big Cheese, Bad Bird, and Jerry Atric
were in hot pursuit.
Boy, it's hot. Hey, what do you say we grab a root beer, guys?
There it is. One of you has to fly up to the control room.
There's the three turkeys
who were behind this destruction.
I got two for his eyes, and one for his nose.
Kitty chow mein!
Get another menu!
I'm getting squished.
Speedy, hold on!
Hey, curve your appetite, fella. Dinner's over.
Whoa!
That kid's a chip off the old block.
The baby is not controlling the Stomper.
We built it with an automatic radar system designed
to zero in and destroy the Pizza Cats,
and any other goody two shoes that gets in the way.
-Are you alright, Speedy? -I feel like an eggroll.
[yelling]
Whoa!
[narrator] Thought the Stomper had the radar system,
Seymour Junior seemed to be making it perform some
extra-curricular activities.
Get them! Turn them into tapioca pudding.
Bad Bird, Jerry, look at that.
The radar system is really something isn't it?
-No. -What do you mean no?
We didn't include the dropping of the net in the radar system.
The baby must have done it.
So the baby did it.
So what? Why do you look like you swallowed half of Cleveland?
If the baby sees you here and decides he wants his father,
he'll come after us next.
[yelling]
Papa!
He wants his papa, Seymour. Stop and give him a hug.
I'll go sit on it.
-Hey, what's going on? -Daddy!
I'm getting too old for this!
I'm not your papa!
Hey, what's going on out there?
The robot thinks Big Cheese Faye Wray.
Papa. We go home now, papa.
Hold it.
Let's look into this a little further.
[giggling]
Huh? That's Silvia's kid.
Silvia's kid?
Big Cheese kidnapped Silvia's baby and Bimbo's yesterday,
and is using him to run that thing.
Now that's fiendish.
Now, let's all do something silly.
Great, now I'll call the rescue team.
Oh, the cats are calling the rescue team
after doing something silly.
[narrator] Francine put in a call to Meowzma.
Hi, Meowzma. I just got a call from Speedy.
Fly to the center of town right away.
Okay, gotcha. I'm on it.
Before Francine could chastise him for being redundant,
Meowzma is on his way.
No, no! Seymour Junior let me go.
Hey, guys. Keep him going straight ahead.
The clever Meowzma proceeded to excavate a cavity
for the robot to fall into.
Being a superhero who really digs his work,
Meowzma burrowed a hole approximately the length
of the Brooklyn Bridge.
Meowzma, do something!
-Hey, you big oaf! -Huh?
Nana-nana!
Come and get me!
Look at that, fellas. Now that's what I call
going out on a limb.
[yells]
-Not fair, you cheated! -Too bad!
[narrator] Meowzma came through in the clutch,
even though the Stomper didn't plunge all the way to Brooklyn.
It was a good thing too, because Guido had to so some
sensitive rescue work.
[giggling]
That tickles.
Nice going, Meowzma.
[roars]
You kidnapped Silvia's child, then you had the nerve
to lock him in that to destroy Little Tokyo!
Not true. No, no, no. You're mistaken.
Prepare to pay for your actions, you baby-napper.
You're not being fair.
[narrator] Can you imagine the insolence,
the nerve, the amidated call
of the Big Cheese to plead for fairness.
Speedy's fur really got ruffled, which only served to trigger
the power of his magical Ginzu sword.
A triple whammy!
[yells]
[explosion]
Oh, no!
[chuckles]
Have a nice flight, Big Cheese.
Next time, I'll leave you with my mother-in-law.
That was good thinking, actually.
Because the sale at Bimbo's went on all month.
Meanwhile, back at the emperor's palace.
You mean, you gave the baby to its mother,
even after I went through all the trouble of naming it?
Yes, your highness.
I guess that makes sense, but what about the laundry?
Get moving. You still have a lot of diapers to wash.
It's humiliation heaped upon humiliation.
The princess won't let me return to the counsel,
unless they keep doing baby laundry.
I've had it!
Uh, oh.
[sighs]
I'm too tired for my usual tantrum.
Know what? I'm afraid I'm beginning to miss
the little fella.
[narrator] The moral of this episode seems to be
dirty diapers can bring out the warmth in even
the coldest of hearts.
But beware Pizza Cats,
don't relax when that warmth turns ice,
and when you're once again challenged,
will your nimble skills be up to snuff?
The answer is obviously yes.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are samurai,
and I'd like to note:
their antics take your breath away
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed.
We never call a retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh, Pizza Cat.
Please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
-we know you'll fight like-- -Pizza Cats!
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show,♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better, Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder, You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
Oh, gosh.
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh, yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Read all the credits so you'll know who did the work.
♪ Samurai Pizza cats♪